Monday, October 27, 2008

'The Cay' Chp. 15 "The Tempis"

Now on Tuesday, the 28th of October, Mr. Hughes told us to rewrite chapter 15 of 'The Cay:

We're expecting a hurricane to come. The sky was flaming red and there're some high clouds. We felt a light breeze and Timothy said that he saw some black clouds joining the higher clouds. Then , the first raindrops fell to our hut. when the wind gusted, the rain hit like little rocks. Timothy said, "'Tis hurrican for sure". Timothy stretched his big body to hold the hut so it won't fall. I felt something on my legs but Timothy told me it's only lizards. The hut had blown away, and Timothy dropped his body down, and told me to put my head down. And Stew Cat burrowed between us. The rain is hitting my back like guns shooting to my back. Then something hit us, "Sea grape" Timothy said. Timothy shouted, "To d'palm". We tied our hands to the tree with a rope and Timothy stand behind me, covering me from the storm. Timothy was taking full blows of the storm and I could felt the rain coming down like punches on me. Then the hurricane was calm. "D' eye!We can rest 'till the odder side of the storm come". Then the storm came again. It was worse this time and the water went over my head. I lost consciusness then, also Timothy. When I woke up Timothy was asleep but alive but Stew Cat was gone. I tried to untie the knots but they were soaked which made me harder to release. I untied the ropes and after a long time, Timothy woke up. He asked me that I was allright and I said I was okay. Then Timothy went back to sleep. I found out that we're completely naked. I also went to sleep, and when I woke up, I felt Timothy's hand. It was cold and stiff. Timothy is now only a corpse on Earth

2 Comments:

At November 1, 2008 at 1:20 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fritz, your writing is very complete, with many many details included. Your phrases are good, but use some more active, vivid vocabulary in your descriptions. This will breathe life into your text.

 
At November 2, 2008 at 9:27 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

(???)aint tellin
Nice mate, this is the first long writing u made. congrats bro. u made this cause the teacher told u rite?gotcha

 

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